a letter to 19 year old me.

Hey you...girl in the jean skirt and ADPi letter shirt walking around the UNCW campus. This is you talking, but just 10 years from now.

You're a sophomore in college and right now, life seems so stressful. You are mostly single (with the exception of the cute boys who take you out and you take to your sorority functions). You wonder all the time when you'll meet the 'perfect' guy. You stress about making money, making good grades, making everyone happy. You stress about what you eat and don't eat, what you drink and don't drink (sorry mom), what you wear and what you can't afford to wear. You worry about if this girl likes you or doesn't like you. You stress about these boys who you don't really even know or care about it. Girl, you are a ball of stress.

Your dream of a 'perfect' life consists of the following things: a husband, a dog, a house, a kid, a job (even though you have no idea what you really want to be), friends, and family.

Well kiddo, I'm here to tell you how life is going to play out.

You're 29, single, living in London, and teaching children with special needs. Wow. I bet you never saw any of that coming (except the 29 part). You've been married and divorced. You've had cancer. You've lost some friends but you've gained some pretty awesome new ones. You've hurt some people along the way and some people have really hurt you. You've cried more times than you care to remember. You've laughed more times than you can count. You've done some pretty crazy things. You've had some wonderful relationships, but you've also had some pretty shitty ones. You haven't always picked the best partners, but you learned from every single person.

There are days when you wake up and think 'what am I doing with my life?' but then you go to work and see the faces of children who love you and need you and you remember. And some days you think 'I am failing miserably' but then you get an email or text from a friend, or a phone call, or just a smile on the street and you remember that life is good and there are people who care about you.

Life is still stressful, but your greatest achievement so far is learning how to deal with that stress. You've learnt to stand up for yourself. You've learnt to follow your dreams. You've learnt to live life for YOU. To some people, it may seem selfish or strange. But in your heart you are happy and that's what is really important.

10 years will pass quicker than you can even imagine. You'll watch your friends get married and have babies. You'll have some friends go through the same things as you…failed relationships and marriages. You'll hit rock bottom but you'll pick yourself up. You'll realize how incredible your friends and family are. You'll have a new appreciation for these people.

You still love Justin Timberlake, dancing in your bedroom, sunny days, beaches, margaritas, talks with girlfriends, long walks in nice weather, cute guys, funny movies, comfy pajamas. Deep down you don't change that much.

But you are getting better with age.

Love,
29 year old Kristen

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And just because I'm feeling sentimental...